Politics Jokes

Why wouldn’t Monica Lewinski be a good doctor?

Because she sucks as an intern

The president of France, Germany, and Bill Clinton sat down at a nice restaurant to eat and talk in France. After a few minutes, the waiter walks up to them, and says to the French president,
“Le wine, monsier?” Because that’s what most French people drink, he nods his head.

Then the waiter walks up to the German president and says,
“Le vodka, monsier?” Because that is what most people in Germany drink, and nods his head.

The the waiter walks up to Bill Clinton and says,
“LeWhiskey?”

A man was walking down a street in Washington. A man walking behind him suddenly pulled out a gun and said, “Gimme all your money, now!”

The victim said, “You can’t do this to me! I’m a Congressman!”

The robber thought for a moment, then said, “In that case, gimme all of MY money!”

Three midgets were sitting at a tavern one afternoon.
One of the midgets, sat quietly,staring at his hands for the longest time. Before long his friend asked him,” Hey, what the hell are you doing?”
“Well”, he exclaimed, “I was just noticing that I have the smallest hands of anyone I have ever seen!”
” Oh yeah”, said his partner, “you think that’s bad you should see my feet”
Just then the third midget returned from the restroom and questioned, “Hey, what are you guys talking about?”
“We were just saying that he has the smallest hands in the world, and I have the smallest feet.”
“Hell”, stated the third fellow, “I got you both beat, you should see the size of my penis!”
The first midget stand up and shouts, “Hey guys, lets go to Guinness, maybe we could be famous if nothing else!”
The next morning the three met at Guinness world headquarters to see if they could turn thier problems into fame.
The first fellow went into the interveiwing room, was in there about 15 minutes, and returned with a huge smile on his face.
“I did it”, he shouted, ” I made it in the book!”
His friends all began congratulating him and high fiving each other, when they called the second fellow into the room.
After about the same amount of time, he also emerged with a smile on his face.
“I did it too, I made it in the book!” he exclaimed.
Once again the celebration began.
Then the third midget went into the room. After what seemed like an eternity, the third fellow came out, and had a very angry look about him.
His two partners questioned him on how he did, and he replied in a very angry voice,
“All I want to know is, WHO IN THE HELL IS BILL CLINTON!”
(you can replace Bills name with whoever you want to bust on!)

Monica will return to the white house next term.
She has been promised the job as head intern.