Politics Jokes

why did the worm jump into the fish’s mouth ?

he couldn’t tell a bass from a hole in the ground.

If the DNA test on Monica Lewinsky’s dress shows the stain to be fruit juice, does that mean that President Clinton can be imPEACHed?

1) If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2) I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3) If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be YOU by morning!

4) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or “fertilized”?

5) I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6) My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

7) Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let’s go fuck.
Is that a keg in your pants? ‘Cause I would love to tap that ass!

9) If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas…could I meet you between the holidays?

10) You remind me of a championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.

11) Could I touch your belly button …from the inside?

12) How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll give you the meat.

As President Clinton returns to Washington after a brief trip to Arkansas, he gets off the helicopter carrying a fat Arkansas Razorback Pig with a Blue Ribbon.

A handsome young Marine snaps a salute to the President and
says, “That’s a great pig, Sir.”

“Yes,” smiles Bill, “I got it for Hillary.”

“Excellent trade, Sir.”

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field.

The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone.

The old farmer said he had buried them.

The sheriff then asked the old farmer, “Were they ALL dead?”

The old farmer replied, “Well, some of them said they weren’t, but you know how them politicians lie.”