Politics Jokes

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and Al Gore are driving through the country when suddenly their car breaks down. They then walk to the nearest farm where the farmer offers them a room for the night. Unfortunately, there is only room for two people to stay in there so says that one of them will have to sleep in the barn. Al Gore offers to sleep in there.

At about midnight there is a knock on the door. Al is standing there and says, “Listen, I’d love to sleep in the barn, but there is a pig in there and I can’t stand pigs.” So Hillary then offers to sleep in the barn.

About 2 hours later there is a knock at the door and Hillary is standing there and says, “I’d also like to stay in the barn but there is a cow in there and I’m allergic to cows.

Bill stands up and says, “Fine I’ll sleep in the damn barn!”

About 10 minutes later there is a knock at the door. It was the cow and the pig.

Bill Clinton bought two pigs for Hillary, and Chelsie, while in Dallas. when he was gettin on Air Force One, A Secret Service agent said, “Mighty fine pigs you got there Mr. President.”
“Thanks. This one’s for Hillary (refering to the one on the right),And this one’s for Chelsie.” (refering to the one on the left)
The Secret Service agent smiled and said, “Good Trade.”

An Israeli doctor said, “In Israel, medicine is so advanced, we can replace a man’s kidney and have him looking for work in six weeks.”

The German doctor said, “That’s nothing. In Germany, we can replace a man’s lung and have him looking for work in four weeks.”

The Russian doctor exclaimed, “Pah! In Russia, we can take half a heart from one man, put it in another man, and have both of them looking for work in two weeks.”

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said, “That’s nothing. In America, we’re about to take an asshole from Texas, put him in the White House, and the next day half the country will be looking for work!”

Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders.

The President asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink. The minister replied in disgust, “Ma’am, I’d rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!”

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know there was a choice. I’ll have the same thing he’s having.”

1) Clinton: We forgive you . . . Now Resign

2) Bill Clinton: Commander in Heat

3) Jail to the Chief

4) If his private life doesn’t matter, let him date your daughter.

5) Clinton: Our Nation’s Fondling Father