Politics Jokes

I Suck At My Job
What Really Goes Down In The White House
How I Blew It In Washington
You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President
Clear and Present Boner
Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule
Going Back for Gore
Podium Girl
Secret Services to the President
Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton
Deep Inside The Oval Office
The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions
She’s Chief of MY Staff!
Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes
How To Beat Off the Government
Going Down and Moving Up
Members of the Presidential Cabinet
Me and My Big Mouth
How To Get Ahead in Business..

How to be Politically Correct when talking about Men…

He does not have a beer gut…
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.

He is not quiet…
He is a Conversational Minimalist.

He is not stupid…
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

He does not get lost all the time…
He discovers Alternative Destinations.

He is not balding…
He is in Follicle Regression.

He is not a cradle robber…
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.

He does not get falling-down drunk…
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.

He does not have his head up his ass…
He suffers from Rectal-Cranial Inversion.

He is not short…
He is Anatomically Compact.

He does not have a rich daddy…
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.

He does not constantly talk about cars…
He has a Vehicular Addiction.

He does not have a hot body…
He is Physically Combustible.

He is not unsophisticated…
He is Socially Challenged.

He does not eat like a pig…
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.

He is not a bad dancer…
He is Overly Caucasian.

He is not a sex machine…
He is Romantically Automated.

He does not hog the blankets…
He is Thermally Unappreciative.

He is not a male chauvinist pig…
He has Swine Empathy.

He does not undress you with his eyes…
He has an Introspective Pornographic Moment.

He is not afraid of commitment…
He is Monogamously Challenged.

It was a warm Friday afternoon toward the end of the school year when Miss Adams said to her third-grade class “Give me your attentions, girls and boys. I’m going to write some quotations on the board and the first person who can tell me who said each one may leave early today.”

She wrote “Give me liberty or give…” Before she could finish the phrase, little Tiffany shouted “Patrick Henry”.

“Very good, Tiffany”, smiled Miss Adams. “You may leave.”

She began to write “Ask not what your country…” but little Tracy shouted “John F. Kennedy”.

“Very good, Tracy”, said Miss Adams, “have a nice weekend.”

She began to write another quotation on the board when little Eddie, who had known both answers but had been beaten out by his female classmates, said aloud “I wish these girls would keep their big mouths shut!”.

Miss Adams whirled around angrily and shouted, “Who said that?”

“Bill Clinton,” said little Eddie. “See ya Monday.”

‘

Looking at a recent photograph of the First Family and their dog Buddy posing on the White House lawn, I couldn’t help but imagine what they were thinking of when that picture was taken.

Looking at Hillary Rodham Clinton’s serious, half-smiling expression, I imagined her thinking, “I wonder where I can get hold of Lorena Bobbitt’s phone number.”

Looking at daughter Chelsea’s smiling face with a knowing expression, I imagined this thought going through her mind, “Now I know why Dad always asks my friends to spend the night at the White House.”

Looking at Bill Clinton’s beaming wide grin, I imagined the president thinking, “Wow! That really cute Queen Amidala babe just turned eighteen. Yee haa!!”

And finally, looking at Buddy’s scowling expression, I imagined Buddy wondering, “…and they say I’m the one who should be NEUTERED??”

Did you know that Bill has new computer??

IT has a 6 inch hard drive and no memory.