Politics Jokes

Bill and Hillary Clinton went out to dinner, and when the waiter came to take their order, he asked Hillary how she wanted her steak, she replied, “Medium.”

Then the waiter said, “How about your vegetable?”

Hillary replied, “Oh, he can order for himself!”

Otto von Bismark, the first Chancellor of the German Empire from 1871-90 had been conversing for a rather long time with the British Ambassador to Germany when the latter posed the question: “How do you handle insistent visitors who take up so much of your valuable time?”

Bismark answered, “Oh, I have an infallible method. My servant appears and informs me that my wife has something urgent to tell me.”

At that moment there was a knock at the door, and a servant entered with a message from his wife.

The two major party presidential candidates agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details.

Republican Texas governor, George W. Bush stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television.

Vice President Al Gore meanwhile stated that the media present Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity.

In other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is too much bush.

A waitress has just finished giving her manager a headjob in the store room. She checks her appeareance in a mirror and returns to the dining areas to check on her customers.

A gay man enters and is seated in her section. She goes over to him and not realizing how tall he is even seated she welcomes him and asks what he’d like to drink.

Sniffing the air of her breath the gay says, “Oh!” I just love your breath mints.”

Apparently Paula thought she was going to see a visitor from another planet when she went to Clinton’s hotel room that night.

The state trooper who summoned her to Clinton’s room told her that Clinton wanted her to see the extraterrestrial.

He was really supposed to ask her if she wanted to see the extra testicle!