Politics Jokes

Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant. The waiter tells them, “Tonight’s specials are chicken almondine and fresh fish.”

“The chicken sounds good; I’ll have that,” Hillary says.

The waiter nods. “And for your vegetable,” he asks.

“Oh he’ll have the fish,” she replies.

President Bill Clinton was addressing a group of school children and explaining the importance of choosing precisely the right words to express your thoughts.

He asked the class if someone could give an example of the word Tragedy.

A little boy raised his hand and said “If two children were having a catch and the ball rolled into the street and one of the children ran after it and got killed by a car, that would be a tragedy”.

The President thought for a moment and replied “Son, that might be more like an accident than a tragedy. Anyone else have an idea? Yes, you down in the front row.”

A little girl stood up and said “If a school bus full of children on the way to a museum got hit by a train and all the children got killed, would that be a tragedy?”

“It would be very sad and a great loss, but perhaps not a tragedy”, the President replied. “Anyone else?”

A little boy in the back stood up.
“Sir, if you and Mrs. Clinton were on Air Force One and the plane was hit by a missile from Iraq and the plane blew up and you and Mrs. Clinton were killed, that would be a tragedy.”

“Very good, son”, said the President. “How did you decide to use that excellent example?”

“Well, Sir,” said the boy, “I knew it wasn’t an accident, and it wouldn’t be a great loss, so I guess it must be a tragedy.”

After Saddam invaded Kuwait he decided that he wanted more money. So he ordered 3 men with no jobs.

He told the first one: “Here you are,” as he handed him a key. “This is the key for a supermarket. I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit.” So away he went with the key.

He told the second: “Here you are,” as he handed him another key. “This is the key for a boutique. I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit. So away he went with the key.

He told the third : “Here you are,” and he handed him his picture. “I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit.” So he went with the picture.
After a week, the three workers came back. When Saddam asked the first one why didn’t he get any money, the worker replied: “The supermarket was in a place that nobody can find and it was a new one and there weren’t any commercials about it, so I didn’t even get a single customer”.

He asked the second the same question and he answered: “All the clothes we have are old-fashioned and everybody now is running after the latest models.”

The third arrived in a limousine and he was smoking a cigar and had bags of cash, Saddam was struck, “How did you get all of this money?”

He answered, “I went to Kuwait and held your picture up, and shouted a spit for $10!”

After the first presidential debate many soccer moms were flooding the salons clamoring for the “Algore look” — lots of blush and a liberal amount of hair spray.

Did you know that this phrase :

“President Clinton of the USA”

can be rearranged without dropping a letter or repeating a letter into this :

“To copulate he finds interns”

Coincidence? You decide!