Politics Jokes

Q: What has four legs and smells like a woman?

A: The desk in the oval office

Monica Lewinsky got a new job with Coca-Cola, as a packager and taste-tester. To commemorate her new position (which wasn’t on her knees), she bought a new dress for her Mother and both of them went down to the Potomac River, to celebrate. While there, the two of them had an argument and Monica actually tried to drown her Mother in the Potomac River.

When a police officer showed up to rescue Monica’s Mother, Monica punched him in the mouth.

This made Monica Lewinsky a coke-sacking coke-sucking cop-socking mother-frocking mother-dunker.

Why did Bill Clinton start playing the Saxophone?

He had to get rid of ho-Monica

A person walked into a doctor’s office.

“Can I get a brain transplant?” the person asked the doctor.

“Sure,” she replied. “You can have a doctor’s brain for $100, a pilot’s brain for $150, or a politician’s brain for $10,872.”

“Why is the politician’s brain so expensive?” asked the person.

“Oh, it’s never been used,” the doctor replied.

A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are three shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture, its title says, “Got Milk.”

The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled, “Forgot Milk.”

The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache on it. It is entitled, “Not Milk.”