Questions Answers Jokes

Why do Scots wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Q: What do the San Jose Sharks and the Titanic have in common?

A: They both look good until they hit the ice!!!

Q: Why did the monkey paint his balls red?
A: To hide in a cherry tree

Q: What is the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: An elephant eating cherries

Q:What has six legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A: A pool table

Q: What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?
A: One says “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.”
The other says, “Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe.”

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…. the other is used to carry groceries.

Q: How do you recycle toilet paper?
A: Hang it on the wall and bash the shit out of it.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.

Q: What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night??
A: Hanson.

Q: Why are roach clips called roach clips?
A: Because “pot holder” was already taken.

Q: How can you tell if you’re at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, a Mexican, an Italian, a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Nun walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, “What is this? Some kind of Joke?”

Q: What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
A: The man.

Q: What’s the difference between Christopher Reeves and OJ Simpson?
A: Christopher Reeves got the electric chair …. and O.J walked!