Religious Jokes

Two flies order in a restaurant :
“I’ll take a shit.”-says first.
“I’ll have a shit with onion”-He says to the other-”Why don’t you have the same? ”
“I don’t want my breath to stink!”

Did you know that Atheism is a NON-PROPHET organization?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed? Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted!

Bed makers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.

On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.

A couple goes into the zoo. They stop at the gorilla cage.
He says to her: “Well, let’s make a test. Take off your blouse.” She’s slightly confused, but she does so. The gorilla starts getting nervous.

“Now, take off your skirt,” he says. And she takes off her skirt. The gorilla is now running up and down.

“And finally,” he says, “take off your bra and slip.” And she does so. The gorilla is getting completely nuts.

“And now,” he finally says, “go to him and tell him, you’ve got a migraine!”

The manager of a large office noticed a new employee one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

“Al,” the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, “Look, I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don’t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that’s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?”

The new guy sighed and said, “Darling. My name is Al Darling.”

“Okay, Al, the next thing I want to tell you is…”