Religious Jokes

Q. What do you get when you cross a prostitute with an elephant?

A. You’ll get a girl that will do it for peanuts and never forget you.

Q: Why did God give blondes one more brain cell than horses?

A: So they don’t poop in the parade.

How far can a dog run into the woods?

Half way because the rest of the way he is running out!

The NAACP sent an agent to Alabama to check the progress in integration of churches. After a few weeks of checking around, he called headquarters to file his report. “How about the Catholics?” asks his boss.

“The Catholics are doing okay; they got the right idea.”

“What about the Methodists?”

“They’ve come a long way,” says the agent. “They’re doing just fine.”

“And the Baptists?” asks the boss.

“I just want to know one thing,” he says. . . “When they baptize you, how long are they supposed to hold you under?”

A feisty, 70-year-old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection, the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for labor. The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call.

“Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of labor.” the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves.