Religious Jokes

What’s the difference between Buddha and Bill Clinton?

Buddha is in a screwy religion.
Clinton screws religiously.

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in the nude.

In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. “Who is it?” calls one of the nuns.

“The Blind Man“, replies a voice on the other side of the door.

The two nuns look at each other and shrug, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room so they open the door.

“Nice boobs,” says the man, “where do you want these blinds?”

1) Yo mama is so stupid she looks behind her before hitting the backspace key.
2) Yo mama so stupid she put on a bathing suit before surfing the web.
3) Yo mama so ugly the glare screen protects the computer from her.

Q: What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?
A: A dry Martinez

Yo mamma’s like a stop sign. On every other corner.
Yo mamma’s like a hardware store 10 cents a screw.
Yo mamma’s like a doorknob everyone gets a turn.
Yo mamma’s like a lightbulb anyone can turn her on.
Yo mamma’s like a remote everyone pushes her buttons.