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Loading ...An atheist complained to a friend, “Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays, too. EVERY religion has it holidays. But we atheists,” he said, “have no recognized national holidays. It’s an unfair discrimination.”
His friend replied, “Well,…Why don’t you celebrate April 1?”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The young rooster upon arrival walks over to the old rooster and says, “OK, old man, time to pack your bags and retire.” The old rooster says with conviction, “You can’t handle all these chickens… Just look at what it did to me!” The young rooster replies, “Now, it is time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike.”
The old rooster a little worried now says, “Aw, c’mon…just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won’t bother you.” The young rooster replies, “SCRAM, beat it, you’re all washed up you old fuck, I’m taking over!!!” So, the old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the younger, “I’ll tell you what, I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins the race gains the dominance of the chicken coop. And I am so feeble, why not give me a little head start?”
The young rooster willing to show his dominance says, “Sure old man, you know I will beat you.” They line up in back of the farmhouse and get a chicken to cluck, “Go” and the old rooster takes off running. A few seconds go by and the young rooster takes off after him. As he rounds the first corner the young rooster is on the heels of the old rooster and gaining fast, the farmer, who is sitting on the porch, looks up and sees what is going on, so he grabs his shotgun and BOOM! He blows the young rooster to KFC heaven.
The farmer then looks at the ground digging his toe in the dirt and shaking his head says, “Damn, that’s the third gay rooster that I brought home this week.”
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “Well, it could have been worse.”
To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.
On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That’s awful, said Frank, “But it could have been worse.”
“How in hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “could it have been worse?!!”
“Well,” replied Frank, “if it had happened the night before, I’d be dead now!”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...yo’mama is so nasty, she got fired from her job at the sperm bank … for drinking on the job.
