Religious Jokes

A man returns home from work early and enters the house through the kitchen door. He sees his wife on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on, drops his pants and starts
humping his wife doggy style.

When he is finished, he pulls out and at the same time hits her hard up the side of her head.

“What was that for?” the wife screamed “Here I am being so nice to you, and letting you enjoy yourself. Why did you hit me?”

The husband looks at her and angrily says, “For not looking back to see who it was!”

What do cheap violins and jury trials have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q: When do you know it’s time to purchase air conditioning?

A: When Satan passes you coming from the kitchen with a glass of ice water.

Q: What do you do if your dish washer breaks down?

A: Kick her in the ass.

A kindergarten teacher was testing his kids on religion. He asked a little boy, “What does the Bishop do?”

After a moment of hesitation, the boy responded, “He moves diagonally.”