(1 votes, average: 2 out of 5)
Loading ...True Story.
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and finger to simulate a gun but, unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5) Loading ...This is supposedly a TRUE story:
On a San Francisco to LA shuttle flight, there was a 45 minute delay and all on-board passengers were “ticked”. Without warning, the plane made a stop in Sacramento. A flight attendant informed the passengers of the delay, and invited folks to exit the aircraft if they wished, advising that they should return in 30 minutes.
All exited, except for one man who was blind and traveling with his guide dog, who was resting patiently under his master’s seat.
The flight’s captain, who knew the blind man, approached him and said, “We’re gonna be here for at least 30 minutes, wouldn’t you like to leave the plane and stretch your legs?” The man said, “No,” but noted that perhaps his dog would want to go for a quick walk. The captain took the dog and led him toward the craft’s jetway.
As the pilot (still wearing his Ray Ban sunglasses) exited the jetway with the guide dog, passengers of the flight actually came to a complete standstill and stared in disbelief.
The majority scattered, heading toward the airline ticket counters. Virtually all of them changed planes, and a few even changed airlines, even after being assured by airline employees that the dog did NOT belong to the pilot.
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...AFTER TEN BEERS AND 12 BRANDYS VAN DECIDES TO CHECK WHETHER HE CAN STILL WALK HOME.
PUSHING HIMSELF AWAY FROM THE BAR COUNTER HE TESTS HIS LEGS , BANG, HE FALLS DOWN.
VAN THEN TRY’S AGAIN, BANG HE FALLS DOWN.HE THEN DECIDES TO CRAWL OUT TO THE LAMPPOST IN FRONT OF THE BAR,PULLING HIMSELF UP TO TRY ONE MORE TIME. BANG FLAT ON HIS BUTT.
REALISING HE ONLY LIVES AROUND THE CORNER HE DECIDES TO CRAWL HOME.
THE NEXT MORNING WHEN HE WAKES UP, HIS WIFE IS WAITING FOR HIM,”YOU BEEN DRINKING AGAIN HAVEN’T YOU?”
“HOW’D YOU KNOW?” VAN REPLIES
“BECAUSE YOU LEFT YOUR WHEELCHAIR AT THE PUB AGAIN.”
(1 votes, average: 1 out of 5) Loading ...Today’s joke is interactive and
requires the use of Microsoft Word 97.
1) Go into Microsoft Word 97. Create a new sheet.
2) On the sheet, type the words “unable to find my Viagra”
3) Highlight the entire line you typed in.
4) Go to your menu bar.
5) Select Tools, Thesaurus.
(Sometimes it is Tools, Language, Thesaurus)
6) Look what it says.
(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5) Loading ...A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, “FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A F*CK-UP!”
For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he’d been about to draw his gun. He couldn’t have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large.
In memory of the event, the bank later put a plaque on the wall engraved “Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a f*ck-up!”
