True Stories Jokes

And the Odds Are?

Posted in Medical, True Stories, Yo Mama
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Annie Jane Giddens, Hohira, GA, was born the same hour of the same day of the same week of the same month in the same room of the same house as her mother was, and she was attended by the same doctor!


Monopoly Fun Facts

Posted in True Stories, Yo Mama
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Warning: Some of these facts may have expired. Was written in 1995. Also, this is VERY long, but PLEASE read it all…

Q. What was the longest MONOPOLY game ever?
A. 70 days

Q. How many little green houses have been built since the MONOPOLY game began?
A. Approximately 5.1 Billion

Q. What is the longest MOMOPOLY game ever played upside down?
A. 36 hours

Q. What’s the most frequently rolled number with the dice?
A. 7

Q. What’s the value of the most expensive MONOPOLY game ever produced?
A. 1 million dollars! Produced by Sidney Mobell, it had diamonds and other gems.

Q. In the UK edition, “Mayfair” is the name given to which US property?
A. Boardwalk

Q. How many MONOPOLY game houses does Parker Brothers build in a year?
A. 64 million per year

Q.What’s the longest game of MONOPOLY played under water?
A. 45 days

Q.How old is the MOnopoly game?
A. 63 years

Q. Who is credited “father of the MONOPOLY game?”
A. Charles Darrow

Q.What’s the value of the MONOPOLY game money Parker Brothers prints in the course of 1 year?
A. Parker Brothers print over 30 billion game dollars per year.

Q. Which color groups cost the most to purchase and improve (build land on)?
A. Green

Q. What happened at the 1959 American National Exhibition in Moscow?
A. All 6 MONOPOLY game displays copies mysteriously disappeared.

Q. Which Benelux country boasts the current MONOPOLY game World Champion?
A. Jost Van Orten (1992), from the netherlands (Holland), is the current World Champion

Q. True or False: All 4 railroads were named for actual Atlantic City railroads?
A. Not quite true. Three were, but Short Line was named for a local bus company…

Q. Which is the most landed-on property in the game?
A. Illinois Avenue (Red)

Q.What American ecomomic era spurred the invention of the original MONOPOLY game?
A. The Depression

Q.What’s the longest MONOPOLY game played in a bathtub?
A. 99 hours

Q. Which are more likely to benefit you: Chance or Community Chest Cards?
A. Community Chest Cards

Q. How long is the actual Boardwalk in today’s Atlantic City?
A. 7 miles long.

Q. What exclusive store once offered customers a $600, full size, all chocolate MONOPOLY game?
A. Neiman-Marcus

Q. How much money does the average player make on the average trip around the game board?
A. $170

Q. Which property was named for a planned Community situated a few miles outside Atlantic City?
A. “Marvin Gardens”, actually spelled “Marven”, the typo was never fixed.

Q.How many people have ever played the MONOPOLY board game?
A. 480 million


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  • This REALLY happened!!!!!

    Posted in True Stories, Yo Mama
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    (Colorado Springs) A Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, “I don’t believe you are over 21. ”

    The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn’t believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver’s license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag.

    The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the driver’s license. Cops arrested the robber two hours later.


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  • A true story…

    Posted in True Stories, Yo Mama
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    A true story . . . .

    When Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.

    Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.”

    Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

    Over the years many people have questioned him as to what the “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant.

    A few months ago, (July 5, 1995 in Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong.

    This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

    When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbor’s bedroom window. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorksy. As he leaned down to pick it up, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. “Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You’ll get oral sex when
    the kid next door walks on the moon!”


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  • Chicken of the Living Dead?

    Posted in True Stories, Yo Mama
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    Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking.

    The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere.

    Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from her own kitchen - coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier. “It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave,” she says. “It was so bizarre I just froze.”

    As they approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo. They took the tray out, and as the chicken began to cool, the squawking died away.

    Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She noticed that the vocal chords were intact. “Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing,” says Martin, and this had caused the dead bird to squawk.

    She has not cooked chicken since.


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