Yo Mama Jokes

yo mamma is so slutty she could suck-start a Harley

your mama so old, she blows powdered milk out her titties.

your mama breath so bad, every time she breathes her teeth duck.

your mama so funky she had to cut the strings off her tampons to keep the crabs from bungee-jumping.

Your mama is so stupid when I asked for a color t.v she asked what color.

History of ‘Giving the Finger’…

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.

Without the use of their middle finger, they would be incapable of fighting in the future using the longbow. This famous weapon, the longbow, was made from the native English Yew tree. The act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” (or “pluck yew”).

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, “See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!”

Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say (like “pleasant mother pheasant plucker”, which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative “F”, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate erotic sexual encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as “giving the bird”. And yew thought yew knew everything!

Your family is so poor for christmas your parents gave you a video of other kids getting toys.