Yo Mama Jokes

your momma is so fat when she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

It was early one Saturday morning. A friend of mine called to warn me of a group of Jehovah Witnesses working our neighborhood.

I thought it would be funny if I appeared at the door totally nude and holding a beer. I looked out the window and saw a man in a suit, a well-dressed woman and two young girls carrying what looked like a bag. As soon as the doorbell rang, I opened it. Acting very drunk, I asked them to come in. (Remember, I am totally naked.) The children screamed, the mother covered her eyes while running away, and the father told me how digusting I was. He asked how my wife could allow me to hang around the house in that condition. They ran down the sidewalk, as I was rolling on the floor laughing.

About that time, I noticed that a station wagon had just pulled up in front of my house, and two men carrying books got out. These two guys were the real Jehovah Witnesses, and the family of four who had just left were my new neighbors that had just moved in next door and had come over to meet us.

To this day, their kids don’t ride their bikes past my house. And it’s been three years now!

Your mamma’s so black she has to wear white gloves when she eats a Tootsie Roll so she doesn’t eat her fingers.

your mamma’s lips are so big she can whisper in her own ear

This is a True Story excerpted from a local radio interview:
The female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a youth club:

Interviewer: “So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?”

Mr. Jones: “We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.”

Interviewer: “Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?”

Mr. Jones: “I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the range.”

Interviewer: “Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?”

Mr. Jones: “I don’t see how; we will be teaching them proper range discipline before they even touch a firearm.”

Interviewer: “But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.”

Mr. Jones: “Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute but you’re not one, are you?”