Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama so stupid so thought that Old English 101 was a class.

Yo Mama so poor that they only get two channels: Off and On.

Yo Mama’s house is so small her Welcome mat only says “WEL.”

This is supposedly a TRUE story:

On a San Francisco to LA shuttle flight, there was a 45 minute delay and all on-board passengers were “ticked”. Without warning, the plane made a stop in Sacramento. A flight attendant informed the passengers of the delay, and invited folks to exit the aircraft if they wished, advising that they should return in 30 minutes.

All exited, except for one man who was blind and traveling with his guide dog, who was resting patiently under his master’s seat.

The flight’s captain, who knew the blind man, approached him and said, “We’re gonna be here for at least 30 minutes, wouldn’t you like to leave the plane and stretch your legs?” The man said, “No,” but noted that perhaps his dog would want to go for a quick walk. The captain took the dog and led him toward the craft’s jetway.

As the pilot (still wearing his Ray Ban sunglasses) exited the jetway with the guide dog, passengers of the flight actually came to a complete standstill and stared in disbelief.

The majority scattered, heading toward the airline ticket counters. Virtually all of them changed planes, and a few even changed airlines, even after being assured by airline employees that the dog did NOT belong to the pilot.

Yo mama so fat when she went to an all you can eat buffet they had to install speed bumps.

AFTER TEN BEERS AND 12 BRANDYS VAN DECIDES TO CHECK WHETHER HE CAN STILL WALK HOME.
PUSHING HIMSELF AWAY FROM THE BAR COUNTER HE TESTS HIS LEGS , BANG, HE FALLS DOWN.
VAN THEN TRY’S AGAIN, BANG HE FALLS DOWN.HE THEN DECIDES TO CRAWL OUT TO THE LAMPPOST IN FRONT OF THE BAR,PULLING HIMSELF UP TO TRY ONE MORE TIME. BANG FLAT ON HIS BUTT.
REALISING HE ONLY LIVES AROUND THE CORNER HE DECIDES TO CRAWL HOME.
THE NEXT MORNING WHEN HE WAKES UP, HIS WIFE IS WAITING FOR HIM,”YOU BEEN DRINKING AGAIN HAVEN’T YOU?”
“HOW’D YOU KNOW?” VAN REPLIES
“BECAUSE YOU LEFT YOUR WHEELCHAIR AT THE PUB AGAIN.”

Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.