Yo Mama Jokes

A man is in Alaska working on a pipeline. After time goes by, he gets horny and asks his boss what they can do for “fun”. The boss says that since the entire camp of workers consists of only men, and there isn’t a woman around for hundred of miles, that there is a tree out in the woods with a hole in it. When the boys get horny they go and have sex with the tree. The man thought to himself, and figured that he would never have sex with a tree, because that was gross.

Time went by, and the man grew more and more horny. After long days and long nights he would think about the tree, but then he would quickly forget about it.

After about a month, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He went to the woods, and there it was, a tree with a hole in it. He wrapped his arms around the tree and had his way with it. It felt great, he came back the next night, it was even better. This continued for a week or so,every time was better than the last.

Then he went one night and had his way with the tree, but it didn’t feel right. He left dissapointed, not at all like the other times. The man tried to figure out why it wasnt good for him anymore, he thought that maybe he was just getting used to it, but that could’t be it.

So the next day he went to his boss and asked, “I’ve been going to the the out back for the past week or so, but when I went last night, it felt weird, it wasn’t good anymore. What happened?”

The boss just turned and said simply, “Oh, didn’t the boys tell you? Last night was your night in the tree.”

Yo Mama so fat, she plays basketball like this: Through the Big Dipper — nothing but net.

Yo Mama so hairy, when you were born you popped out with CARPET-BURNS.

Yo Mama so old, when God said let there be light, she threw the firecracker.

YO MAMMA SO FAT, WE GO SWIMMING IN HER BELLY-BUTTON, EVERY SUMMER.

Q: What walks on four legs, then two legs, and then three?

A: A man. (He crawls as a baby, then walks on two legs, then three when he needs a cane.)

Your momma is so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.

Your so stupid, you think Federal Express is a branch of the government.

Your father is so dumb, he went to an LA Clippers game to get a haircut.

Your mother is so stupid, she thinks Olde Engkish 800 is a college course.

Your mother is so stupid, she tired to drown herself in a car pool.

your mother is so stupid, she put your brother in rehab because he was hooked on phonics.