Yo Mama Jokes

On one BAD day,

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn’t pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with “return to sender” stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
yo mama so fat she fell into the sea and the whales sang, “We are family…”
yo mama so stupid she spent 20 min. staring at an orange juice carton cause it said, “Concentrate.”
yo mama so ugly when she was born the doctor looked at her head and butt and said, “Twins!”

Yo mama’s so hunch-backed, she has to wear a snorkel and mask to wash the dishes.

yo mamma was so ugly as a baby that when she was born your mother said “Oh what a treasure!” and your father said “Yeah, let’s go bury it.”

yo mamma’s teeth are so big she looks like a beaver with big tits.

yo mamma’s so skinny her nipples touch.

yo mamma’s so crossed eyed when she cries tears roll down the bitch’s back.

yo mamma’s so stupid she thought TACO BELL was a phone company.

Yo mamma’s so tall, when she did a cartwheel she kicked Jesus.