Yo Mama Jokes

I beleive in reincarnation, I think the “Where’s the Beef” lady came back as the Taco bell dog.

Yo Momma is so fat she got kidnapped and they could only put her picture on gallon milk jugs.

Kidnappers sent her back because they got tired of going food shopping.

Your mama is so stupid she tried to drown a fish.

Your mama is so stupid she tried to throw a bird off a cliff.

Your moma’s so fat,

When she bent over, astronauts looked down from space and thought they discovered a new planet.

The Darwin Awards are given every year to bestow upon (the remains of) that individual, who, through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. Here are some current candidates:

Poacher Maino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock–and was killed instantly when it fell on him.

Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it. Police found him unconscious in front of the store; paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.

Last year’s winner was the fellow who was killed when he attached a JATO (Jet Assisted Take Off) unit to his Chevy Impala and promptly shot himself at 300mph into the side of a desert cliff.

There is a guy who begins to suffer massive headaches. He goes to the doctor and says, “Hey doc, I´ve got these headaches… can you check it out and tell me what´s going on?”

Doc says, “Sure, come on back in a couple days after we analyze some tests.”

Guy comes back, and the doctor tells him, “We´ve got good news and bad news.”

Guy says, “Let´s hear the bad news.”

Doc sez, “You´ve got a week to live.”

Guy says, “Holy shit, I can´t fucking believe it!! What´s the good news?”

Doc smiles and says, “See that good looking nurse over there?”

Guy says, “Yeah?”

Doc laughs, “I fucked her last night!”