A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics are in a hanger in New York Airport; it’s fogged in and they have nothing to do.

One of them says to the other “Man, have you got anything to drink?”

“Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, that’ll kinda give you a buzz.” So they do, get smashed and have a beautiful time.

The following morning, one of them wakes up and he knows his head will explode if he gets up. But it doesn’t. He gets up and feels good. In fact he feels great- No hangover!

The phone rings and it’s his buddy. The buddy says, “Hey, how do you feel?”

He said, “I feel great! and the buddy says, “No hangover.”

“We ought to do this more often.”

“Yeah, we could, but there’s just one thing.”

“What’s that?”

Did you fart yet?”

“What??”

“Did you FART yet?”

“No…”

“Well, DON’T, cause I’m in Phoenix!!”

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Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!”

His buddy looks at him and says, “Well, you’re obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife’s rump and say, ‘How about a little?’ and she pretends that she’s asleep.”

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This joke is filed under Funny Stories.