Employee Performance Evaluation

EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION

Employee Name _______________
Date of Review __________________

KNOWLEDGE:
1.____ The son-of-a-bitch really knows his shit

2.____ Knows only enough to be dangerous

3.____ Only has half a brain and is dangerous

4.____ Fucking brain damaged. His coffee cup has a higher I.Q.

ACCURACY:
1.____ Does excellent work; is not preoccupied with pussy

2.____ Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out his ass

3.____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten

4.____ Couldn’t count his balls and get the same number twice

ATTITUDE:
1.____ Extremely cooperative (Kisses ass frequently)

2.____ Brown noser in poor standing

3.____ Often pisses off co-workers; thinks it’s his job

4.____ Doesn’t give a shit; never did, never will

RELIABILITY:
1.____ Really a dependable little cocksucker

2.____ Can rely on him at evaluation time

3.____ Can rely on him to be the first one out the fucking door

4.____ Totally fucking worthless

APPEARANCE:
1.____ Extremely neat; even combs his pubic hair

2.____ Looks great at evaluation time

3.____ Dirty, filthy, smelly son-of-a-bitch

4.____ Flies leave fresh dog shit to follow him

PERFORMANCE:
1.____ Goes like a son-of-a-bitch if there is money in it for him

2.____ Does OK around evaluation time

3.____ Works only if kicked in the ass every two minutes

4.____ Couldn’t do less work if he were in a coma

LEADERSHIP:
1.____ Carries chain saw and gets good results

2.____ Occasionally gets told to get fucked

3.____ Mother Theresa tells him to get fucked

4.____ Couldn’t lead a pack of hungry wolves to meat

————————————————————-

I understand that I have been evaluated and know my rights under the Privacy Act of 1969. I further acknowledge that I am as fucked up as a football bat and will attempt to correct my deficiences.

EMPLOYEE SIGNATURE X__________________________________________________

MANAGER SIGNATURE X__________________________________________________

This joke is filed under Office.