Fertilizer Chain Letter
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Loading ...Dear Friends,
This letter is being sent to you for I know that you are certainly interested in your lawn. The spring season is about to arrive, and it is time to act if you want a truly spectacular lawn this summer.
This is a fertilizer chain letter. It will cost you nothing. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address of the person on the top of this list and shit on their front lawn. You will not be the only one doing this so don’t be embarrassed.
Then add your name and address to the bottom of the list and send out five copies of the letter to five of your friends who appreciate a good organic lawn. You will not get any money or checks, but within a few weeks, if this chain is not broken, there will be 9,255 people shitting on your front lawn. Your reward will come next year when you have the greenest lawn in your neighborhood.
Mrs. Harry Butt
235 Corn Cob Alley
Mr. Smell B. Hind
275 Diarrhea Way
Mrs. Lucy Bowels
298 Bedpan Road
Mr. C. Howie Fartz
267 Fertilizer St.
A. Bigger Movement
145 Enema Drive
Mr. Charlie Syringe
340 Suppository Lane
Mrs. Minnie Crap
690 Rectum Lane
P.S. If you are constipated, pass this on to a friend or neighbor. Do not break the chain. One man didn’t give a shit and lost his whole lawn. Also, If you just have a small lawn, you may only want to send out 3 copies of this letter instead of 5 or things could get a bit messy.
