For sale.

1 nuclear warhead.

Phone Baghdad and ask for Saddam.

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A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse, with a hand-lettered “For Sale” sign out front.

After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets and pointing out where a “new light fixture here and a little paint there” would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing.

“Ma’am” the man said, “I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you must have misread my sign. It says, “HORSE for Sale.”

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