french chef
Once there was a rich man that had a wife that hated to cook. She ask her old man if she could have a chef. He told wife ok and hired a french chef. Everything he cooked was awful. The man complained to his wife but she said to give him a little more time.
Mad about everything being bad, he went home to fire the chef. When he got home he found the chef giving his wife oral sex. He yelled out, “Get out of my house! I gave you a good job - what do you do but fuck up everything I have to eat and eat up everything I have to fuck!”