HIS and HERS Road Trip
HERS:
1. Pulls off at wrong exit.
2. Opens window
3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer
4. Arrives at destination presently.
HIS:
1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one.
2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right.
3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case.
4. finally rolls down window
5. hocks a loogie
6. pulls up to a 7-11
7. gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky
8. Asks person behind counter how to get back onto the highway.
9. Gets back into car.
10. farts
11. after he closes the door.
12. laughs at the idea of looking at a map as he pulls away from the 7-11.
13. Drives down a dirt road with no street lights insisting this is the way back because guy from 7-11 said it was.
14. almost hits a deer
15. curses the night
16. curses you
17. curses the large slurpee
18. stops by the side of the road
19 takes a leak
20. still taking a leak.
21. almost done
22. I think.
23. returns to car
24. Drives and fiddles with radio.
25. yells at you for suggesting the map again
26. admits he didn’t want to go to Thanksgiving at your sister’s
anyway.
27. He hates your sister.
28. Ever since she called him a pernicious weasel
29. He had to look up pernicious.
30. Couldn’t find a dictionary.
31. finally found a dictionary
32. Couldn’t spell pernicious.
33. seethes at the memory of it all
34. But she is laughing inside…
35. And of course you’re still lost.