how to get drunk on 40 cents
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Loading ...Two drunks, Hawthorne and Woods, wake up one morning. Woods says, “How the hell are we gonna get drunk today? All I’ve got is forty cents.”
Hawthorne says, “Gimme the money, I’ve got an idea.” He goes into a deli, comes out with a hot dog and says, “Come on. Let’s go to the bar.”
When they get to the bar, Hawthorne pulls down Woods’ zipper, sticks in the hot dog, and pulls the zipper up tight enough to hold it.
Then he says, “Follow me,” and they walk into the bar. He orders two zombies, and they drink them down. When the bartender says, “Pay up,” Hawthorne drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot dog.
The bartender says, “Get out of here, you homos.” Fifteen bars, they do the same routine.
They’re bombed. Hawthorne says, “Listen, it was a great idea I had, we got bombed on forty cents, but we gotta stop. Every time I drop to my knees I smash ‘em on the floor. I can’t take it anymore.”
Woods says, “You can’t take it anymore? We lost the hot dog after the fourth bar.”