If Men Were to Rewrite

Rule #1: Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

Rule #2: If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret Girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Rule #3: If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

Rule #4: It is neither in your best interest or ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.

Rule #5: Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

Rule #6: Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

Rule #7: You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

Rule #8: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.

Rule #9: Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions and neither do we.

Rule #10: Women who wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Rule #11: When we’re turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying “This is our exit” is not necessary.

Rule #12: Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

This joke is filed under Man and Woman.