In Your Dreams, Buddy

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THE PERFECT WOMAN

1. I wanna swallow it all…I love the taste.

2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

3. I’m bored. Wanna shave my pussy?

4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies?

5. That was a great fart. Do another.

6. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

7. You’re soooo sexy when you’re hungover.

8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

9. Let’s subscribe to Hustler.

10. Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

11. Let’s go down to the mall so you can check out women’s asses.

12. I’ll be outside mowing the lawn.

13. Honey, our neighbor’s daughter is sunbathing topless again. Come see.

14. I know it’s a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

15. No, you watch the game. I’ll take the car to have the oil changed.

16. Do me a favor. I don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day. Buy yourself new clubs.

17. Don’t worry about our anniversary. You go hunting with the guys.

18. What do you say we get a good porno flick, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Debbie over for a threesome.

19. Oh, no, not the mall again. Let’s go to that new strip joint.

20. Baby, I make enough money for both of us. Why don’t you retire and get that handicap down to 7 or 8.

21. Sweetie, you need your sleep. I’ll do the night feedings.

22. God…if I don’t get to blow you soon, I swear I’m gonna bust.

23. I signed up for yoga so I can get my ankles behind my head for you.

24. Would you like me to get implants?

25. Ahh ya big silly, those male strippers have nothing on you.