Kill, but Don’t Rob Me!
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Loading ...Hershel Ostropolier (a Jewish wit of the 17th century) is walking home one Friday afternoon, taking a shortcut through the forest. A bandit, brandishing a pistol, jumps out and says, “Give me your money or I’ll shoot you dead!”
Hershel pleads with the man, “My wife will never believe that I’ve been robbed. She’ll think I just spent the money in a tavern. She’ll kill me if you don’t!”
The robber replies, “That’s no difference to me. Give me your money or I’ll certainly kill you.”
Hershel hands the robber his wallet and says, “Well, I guess I have no choice. But could you at least make it so my wife will believe me?”
Hershel holds open his coat. “Shoot a hole in my coat.” This seems reasonable to the robber, and he does so.
Hershel looks, shakes his head, and says, “Oy, what was I thinking! That side is already so tattered, you can’t even tell there’s a bullet hole there. Here, please, shoot a hole in the other side where it isn’t so shabby.” The robber again obliges.
Hershel looks, takes off his hat, and says, “That’s good, now let’s really make the story stick–shoot a hole in my hat, too!”
The robber says, “I have had enough of this foolishness. Besides, I’ve used all my bullets to make your story convincing already.”
Hershel replies, “You’ve used all your bullets?”
So he takes his walking stick, pummels the robber senseless, retrieves his wallet, and goes on his way.
