My thoughts, from my mind….
(2 votes, average: 2.5 out of 5)
Loading ...If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful?
If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind?
If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people?
What does an imperfect stranger look like?
The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that will be $19.95?”
What do the manufacturers of styrofoam pack their shipments in?
Is it really possible to be completely partial?
If you pulled the wings off of a fly..would it then be called a “walk”?
If wool shrinks in water…why don’t sheep shrink in the rain?
Is it ok for vegetarians to eat animal crackers?
If a mime gets arrested, does he have the right to remain silent?
And if you SHOOT one, do you have to use a “silencer”?
If psychics are for real..why don’t they call us? Speaking of psychics, why don’t they ever win lotteries?
If contractors erect a building, when they are done why isn’t it called a built?
Did you ever stop to think…and then forget to start again?
How do you know if sour cream goes bad? And why do the containers for sour cream have expiration dates on them? Do they become FRESH, after a certain point?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
How do deer know to cross at those deer crossing signs?
Is it a coincidence that the word “politics” comes from the Latin roots with “poli” meaning many and “tics” meaning blood sucking insects?
Is it ok to ask the clerk in a book store where the section on “self-help” is?
How come Tarzan doesn’t have a beard? Or a moustache? Or long fingernails?
No disrespect intended here but, ladies, do you think Moses would have had to wander the desert so long if he would have just stopped to ask directions?
How does the bank expect you to pay the penalty fee on a check thats returned for insuffient funds…with
a check?
I made a promise to myself to get in shape and I did it! Round is a shape isn’t it?
I have my own opinions on things….
is that ok with you?
Computers allow us to make mistakes much faster than we ever could by hand.
There are two sure fire rules for a successful life: Rule#1: Don’t tell people everything you know, and,
Rule#2: Youth is wasted on the young
Yesterday, my friend called me a procastinator and I was so mad that I vowed to get even with her…soon as I get around to it.
I then asked her if she knew the meaning of the word apathy? She said, “No, and I don’t care.”
When doing any kind of writting, you should always avoid cliches like the plague.
People who are redundant by repeating themselves and saying the same thing twice really annoy me a lot.
Free advice is worth exactly what you pay for it.
Change is inevitable….except from a vending machine.
A preposition is a word that you should never end a sentence with.
I put a dollar bill into a machine that said “get change here” but nothing changed.
If the shoe fits…..buy them.
Most women would rather have beauty than brains, because men can see better than they can think.
If you want people to know where you stand….don’t bathe for a week.
I have found that the easiest way to find something I lost is to go buy another one.
Overexageration is a really really huge enormously bad habit….
Most mothers tell their daughters to marry doctors…I told mine to marry an archaeologist because the older she gets, the more interested he will be in her.
It’s easier to let the cat out of the bag than it is to get it back in the bag.
If everything seems to be coming your way, you’re probably going the wrong way on a one-way street.
I think it’s kind of mean that the word for speech impediment is “lisp”…..think about it!