New Additions to Periodic Table.

Name:Woman
Symbol:WO
Atomic weight:(Don’t go there)
Physical Properties:Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.
Chemical properties:Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Also able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.
Usage:Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

Name:Man
Symbol:XY
Atomic weight:180 +/- 50
Physical properties:Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples.
Chemical properties:Attempts to bond with WO at any given opportunity. Also tends to form strong bond with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (element:child) for prolonged time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage:None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution:In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and develops an unpleasant odor.

This joke is filed under Man and Woman.