Mr. Reiss got himself a new secretary. Maggie was young, sweet and polite. She was also quite witty.

One day while taking dictation, Maggie noticed his fly was open and, on leaving the room, she said “Oh, Mr Reiss, did you know that your barracks door is open?”

He did not understand her remark, but later on he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. Calling her in, he asked “By the way, Miss Bolt, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you see a soldier standing at attention?”

“Why, no, Mr. Reiss,” she replied. “All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags.”

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A guy walked into his friend’s office and found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.

“Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asks.

“Oh, it’s my wife”, replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.”

“Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?”

“Neither, he’s bald.”

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