Nine o’ five

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I was playing golf one morning and a friend asked if he could play a round against me. I told him, “Sure. What time do you want me to meet you here?” He said, “Nine o’ clock … Maybe nine o’ five.”

Sure enough, the next day he is there to tee off at nine o’ clock sharp. He tees off right-handed and I tee off right-handed.

We played eighteen holes and he beat me by two strokes. I congratulated him and asked for a re-match.

He said, “O.K. How about tomorrow at nine o’ clock … Maybe nine o’ five.”

All is agreed upon.

The next morning he showed up and we teed off at nine o’ clock sharp. This time he teed off left-handed and I teed off right-handed.

At the end of the eighteen holes, he still beat me by two strokes.

I asked him as to his strategy behind playing golf right-handed yesterday and left-handed today.

He told me that it all has to do with the way he wakes up in the morning. He said, “If I wake up and my wife is sleeping on her right side, I play golf right-handed. If I wake up and she is sleeping on her left side, I play golf left-handed.”

I asked him, “What happens if when you wake up, she is sleeping on her back?”

He told me, “That’s when I get here at nine o’ five!”

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