Jokes News

One morning little Johnny comes walking down the stairs to find his breakfast not on the table.
He looks over at his mother and says “Hey mom, where is my breakfast?”
His mother looks at him and says “Well, you won’t get your breakfast until you finish your chores.”
Johnny walks out of the house and heads down to the barn to do his chores.
He goes in an gets the chicken feed and walks into the pens. All the chickens quickly gather aroung him not letting him get to the food bowl so he kicks one of them out of the way and pours it on the ground.
Next, he gets the pig feed and goes in to feed the pigs. Once again, all the pigs gather around him. So, he kicks one out of the way and pours it on the ground.
Finally, he grabs the cow’s feed and walks into the pen and the milk cow corners him. He kicks her out of the way and pours the food on the ground.
Happy that he was finally finished he races into the house to eat breakfast. Upon getting to the table he finds a plate with a piece of toast on it. He turns to his mother and says “Where is the rest of it?”
“Well, you kicked the chickens so you get no eggs, you kicked the pigs so you get no sausage, and you kicked the cow so you get no milk.”
About that time Johnny’s father comes walking down the stairs and finds the pussy cat sitting right in the middle of the stair case. So, he kicks him out of the way.
Little Johhny turns to his mother and says “You want me to tell him or are you going to?”

What have you done wrong if your wife comes out of the kitchen to bitch at you?

Made the chain too long.

Yo momma so poor she can’t pay attention.

In a young classroom, three young children are discussing their fathers’ careers.

The first boy says, “My Dad writed words on a piece of paper. He calls it a poem, and gets paid £100 for it.” The boys agree this is impressive.

The second boy says, “My Dad also writes words on a piece of paper. He calls his a song and gets paid £1000 for it.” They all agree this is also impressive.

The third boy says, “My Dad writes words on a piece of paper as well. He calls his a sermon, and it takes four people to collect all the money.”

Mommy Mommy why is daddy running so fast?

SHUT UP and step on the gas.