Jokes News

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.

“I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!”

A businessman was flying over Chicago in his small airplane when suddenly the engine stopped.

He reached behind the seat, grabbed his parachute and bailed out of the plane.

On the way down to earth he met a woman wearing an apron going up.

He shouted to her, “Hey lady, do you know anything about parachutes?”

She replied, “No sir, do you know anything about gas stoves?”

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule at 2 a.m.

Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, “Mike, Dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I’ve got a splitting headache.”

“Certainly, Honey,” he said. Feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.

As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise. “Say,” said the druggist, “aren’t you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?”

“Yes, I am,” said the officer.

“Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief’s uniform?”

Yo mama is so stupid that she dialed 911 on the microwave.

Yo mama is so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo mama is so stupid she got locked in a Grocery store and starved.

Yo mama is so stupid she got locked in the Bathroom and peeded in her pants.

Q: What does a blonde call dark color hair dye???

A: Artificial intelligence!