Jokes News

There was a blonde driving a car, and all was going fine until the car started speeding up it hit a lot of bumps and she was thrown off , but her foot was caught in a wire her head was bouncing dangerously close to the ground. Just when she was about to give up hope, a Walmart employee came out and unplugged the car.

Why does a doctor need to control his temper?

Because he doesn’t want to lose his patients!

Every March 19, without fail, the swallows come back to Capistrano. Ever wonder why?

Maybe it’s to see the human tourists who, without fail, return to Capistrano every March 19.

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.

On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) toserve as potential food for the dog.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.

On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.

By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken.

“You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.

“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager,
“and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”

“No problem,” the tired Navy man assured him. “I’ll take it.”

The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“How’d you sleep?” asked the manager.

“Never better.”

The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring?”

“Nope, I shut him up in no time” said the Navy guy.

“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.

“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the sailor explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, ‘Goodnight, beautiful,’ and he sat up all night watching me.”