Parrot in a Church
One day a woman’s phone rang and it was her church preacher asking her to bring a pet to church. So on Saturday night, she went to the pet shop to buy a parrot to teach it to pray. She found one and bought it. She brought the bird home and tried to get it to talk, but it wouldn’t.
The next day she woke up and got ready for church. She looked out the window and said, “God damit! It’s raining outside.”
She put the parrot in the car and started to back out of her driveway when a car almost hit her. “Stupid bitch almost hit me!” she screamed.
Then before she got to church, there was a mule in the middle of the road. She said, “Just kick it in the ass! It’ll move!”
She finally got to church and it was very quiet. Suddenly, the bird said, “God damit! It’s raining outside!” Shocked, the woman swung her purse at the bird but missed. The bird squawked, “Stupid bitch almost hit me!” The woman fainted, overcome by shock and embarrassment. Then the bird said, “Just kick it in the ass! It’ll move!”