Rest Room Signs
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Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men
—Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?”
—Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit.
—Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina
To do is to be - Descartes
To be is to do - Voltaire
Do be do be do - Frank Sinatra
—Men’s restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona
Make love, not war.-Hell, do both, get married!
—Women’s restroom, The Filling Station, Bozeman, Montana
A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going
to have trouble with it.
—Women’s restroom, Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas,Texas
Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers
—Inside toilet stall door, Men’s restroom
Express Lane: Five beers or less
—Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic’s,Beverly Hills, CA
You’re too good for him.
—Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom, Ed Debevics,Beverly Hill, CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
—Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s,Beverly Hills, CA
The best way to a man’s heart is to saw his breast plate open.
—Women’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can’t take a dump
here. Your asshole is in Washington.
—Men’s room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington
Beauty is only a light switch away.
—Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NorthCarolina.
I’ve decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
—Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge,Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all
get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
—Armand’s Pizza, Washington, D.C.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
—The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
—Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson,Arizona
It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
—Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
—Revolution Books, New York, New York
Don’t trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die.
—Men’s restroom, Murphy’s, Champaign, IL
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
—Men’s restroom, Lynagh’s, Lexington, KY