Ron and Elaine
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Loading ...Ron and Elaine had been married ten years, had no children, and were beginning to drift apart. Elaine told her mother one day that she thought her marriage was in trouble.
“For God’s sake, Elaine”, said her mother, “you and Ron have to see a marriage counselor. Ron’s a wonderful guy, and you’ll never find anyone who’d be as good to you as he is.”
So Elaine phoned her cousin Harriet, who’d been through marriage troubles herself, to get the name of a good counselor.
“Go see Anne Rogers,” said Harriet. “She’s the best there is.”
So Elaine brought Ron to their first counseling session and Anne got right to it. “Tell me about the problem” she said.
Elaine spoke first. “we just don’t seem to have much fun together anymore, at least not like we used to.”
“Tell me about your sex life” said Anne Rogers.
“Oh, we have a great sex life” said Ron defensively. “We make love every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday nights right after the sports and weather.”
“Excuse me,” said Elaine, “but what you call ‘making love’ is when you jump on me, come in thirty seconds, and fall asleep before I can even get interested.”
“OK, there’s your problem” said Anne. “This whole routine is stale, dull, and totally predictable. You have to be spontaneous about sex. Passion doesn’t work on a timetable…you have to seize the moment. I want you to forget about this Monday Wednesday Friday routine and just make love when you both get the urge. It doesn’t matter if it’s twice a day or twice a month…just do it when you want to. Will you do that?”
Anne Rogers didn’t hear from Ron and Elaine for several weeks after that initial session and was curious to know if they had worked out their problem. She phoned Elaine and made an appointment for a follow-up meeting.
Ron and Elaine came into her office and snuggled closely together on her couch like newlyweds. “Well,” smiled Anne, “it looks like you two are pretty much a couple again. Why don’t you tell me what happened.”
Ron spoke first. “We were having lunch right after our first session with you that day, and Elaine looked really beautiful. I even thought she was glowing a little bit, and her mouth was so sexy the way she was chewing and talking that I felt myself getting hard…and then her spoon fell off the table. She bent down to retrieve it and I remembered what you said about seizing the moment, so I stood up, ripped off her panties, and pulled her up onto the table. Right then and there we had the greatest sex of our lives and it’s been that way ever since.”
Anne Rogers smiled happily. “I’m so pleased to hear that I’ve been able to help”, she said.
“But there’s one little problem” said Elaine.
“Oh?” said Anne.
“That’s right,” said Ron, “We’re banned from Taco Bell for life.”
