Rules For Women
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Loading ...1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
2. Remember, you are known by the idiot you accompany.
3. Don’t imagine you can change a man, unless he’s in diapers.
4. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? SHUT THE DOOR!
5. So many men — so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
6. If they put a man on the moon, we should be able to put them ALL there.
7. Tell him you’re not his type — you have a pulse.
8. Never let your man’s mind wander. It is too little to be let out alone.
9. The only reason men are on this planet in the first place, is because vibrators can’t dance nor buy drinks.
10. Never sleep with a man who has given his penis a NAME.
11. Always go for younger men. You might as well; they never mature, anyway.
12. Any man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump, is unquestionably gay.
13. Men are all the same. They have different faces, so you can tell them apart.
14. Definition of a Bachelor: A man who missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.
15. Women don’t make fools of men. Most are the do-it-yourself type.
16. The best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest to him that he is “too old” for it.
17. Love is blind, but marriage is a REAL eye-opener.
18. If you want a committed man, look in any mental hospital.
19. The children of Israel wandered around in the desert for 40 years, because Moses, a man, refused to stop and ask for directions.
20. If he asks what sort of books interest you, tell him “checkbooks.”
21. A man’s idea of a serious commitment is usually, “Oh, all right, I’ll stay the night.”
22. Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn’t even have lunch with.
23. Remember, a sense of humor doesn’t mean that you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his.
24. If he asks you if you are faking it, tell him No, you are just practicing.
25. Sadly, all men are created equal.
26. When he asks if he’s your first, say, “You may be; you look very familiar.”
