Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams

Sage Advice on Winning the Man of Your Dreams

Many women are under the impression that if they are attractive, conscientious and treat a guy really well, they have a chance of winning their guy. But let’s be honest: has this ever really worked for you? Probably not. There’s a much more effective method. It may seem insane, but it works!

To capture the man of your dreams, this is what you must do:

1) Act like you really, really like him. But just for a while.

2) Then suddenly (with no explanation) tell him that you need “your space”. Tell him that you’re “really confused” and that you “just need to think for a while and be alone”. That, “you’ll call him when you’re feel ready.”

3) At this point allow for at least 3 or 4 weeks. After that, call him around midnight, sobbing, and say these things: “I really, really miss you and need you, and just didn’t realize what an angel you were! How could I be so stupid! I am SO afraid of losing you.”

4) Then when he gets to your home in 10 minutes or less, tell him that it would be better if he came back in 3 or 4 days - when you’re feeling “less emotional”.

5) Now allow for at least five weeks. Then call him out of the blue. Your dialogue should look something like this (you must sound angry): “Where on earth have you been!!” I thought you loved me!!! You have no idea the hell I’ve been through in these last few weeks! (begin crying) I thought you’d be there for me when really I needed you! I thought you cared! Do you just abandon people? Can I really trust you with my heart and feelings? I’m not sure anymore… In fact, I don’t I know who you are anymore! You were the one guy I thought I could rely on! (actually, cry for a while here… )

6) Now be silent for a long minute. Then say gently and lovingly (but still sobbing just a bit) “Can you come over?” “Now?”

7) Then repeat steps 1- 6. Indefinitely.

You’ll collect a lot of free stuff in the process too!

This method has been scientifically proven to work with most men. Good luck!

This joke is filed under Religious.