brother and sister

A senior girl in Arkansas was upset because she didn’t have a date to her Senior Prom, so she asked her brother to take her.

He said, “No no no, you’re my sister.”

“Please please please?” she said.

“Well OK,” he said. So he took her to the Prom.

When they got there, she said, “Will you dance with me?”

“No no no, you’re my sister,” he said.

“Please please please?”

“Well OK,” so he dances with her.

After the Prom, she says, “Can we go driving around?”

“No no no, you’re my sister,” he said.

“Please please please?”

“Well OK”, so they go driving around.

After awhile, they ran out of gas, so they were parked.

“Will you kiss me?” she asked.

“No no no, you’re my sister.”

“Please please please?” she begged.

“Well OK,” so he kisses her.

“Will you have sex with me?” she asked.

“Alright, I’m drawing the line here, you’re my sister, no way.”

“Please please please?” she asked.

“Well, OK,” so he has sex with her.

When they’re finished, he gets off her and she looks at him and says, “Wow, you’re a lot heavier than dad.”

“I know,” her brother replied. “That’s what mom says.”

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.

“Don’t be angry,” the Mother says, “Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts.”

A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.

This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…”Now she knows.”

APPLICATION FOR ARKANSAS DRIVERS LICENSE
Last name: __________________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
[_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue
[_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo
[_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann
[_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee
[_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen
[_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation:
[_] Farmer [_] Mechanic
[_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress
[_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician
Spouse’s Name: __________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name: _______________________
3rd Spouse’s Name: _______________________
Lover’s Name: ____________________________
2nd Lover’s Name: ________________________
Relationship to spouse:
[_] Sister [_] Aunt
[_] Brother [_] Uncle
[_] Mother [_] Son
[_] Father [_] Daughter
[_] Cousin [_] Pet
Number of children living in household: ___
Number of children living in shed: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Mother’s Name: _______________________
Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Where you keep them firearms:
____ truck ____ kitchen
____ bedroom ____ bathroom
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup:
____________ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
[_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:___________________________
Newspapers/magazines you read:
[_] The National Enquirer [_] The Globe
[_] TV Guide [_] Soap Opera Digest
[_] Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
[_] Weekly
[_] Monthly
[_] Not Applicable
Color of teeth:
[_] Yellow [_] Brownish-Yellow
[_] Brown [_] Black
[_] N/A [_] Teeth?
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
[_] Red-Man
[_] Other
How far is your home from a paved road?
[_] 1 mile
[_] 2 miles
[_] don’t know
[_] paved road ?

I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from the first child to the last. She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years:

“When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”

Plez compleet the follwin best ya can:

Name:
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-George
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
(_) Billy-Jefferson
Last Name: (If unsure of spelling, write it out the way it sounds)

(Check appropriate box)

Age: ____
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

Occupation:
(_)Farmer
(_)Mechanic
(_)Hair Dresser
(_)Un-employed

Spouse’s Name: __________________________

Second Spouse’s Name:
__________________________

Mistress’s Name:
__________________________

Second Mistress’s Name:
__________________________

Number of times you have cheated on your wife:
(_)12, (_)13,(_)14,(_)15,(_)Not sure

Relationship with spouse:
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet

Number of children living in household: ___

Number that are yours: ___

Number of children you keep in the shed:___

Number of children you keep in the barn:___

Mother’s Name: _______________________

Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not
sure, leave blank)

Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade
completed)

Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?
(Check appropriate box)

___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

Do you (_)own or (_)not own a gunrack (if no, please explain)

Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
____ kid’s room

Model and year of your pickup: ___________194_

Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_)The National Enquirer
(_)The Globe
(_)TV Guide
(_)Soap Opera Digest

___ Number of times you’ve seen a UFO
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis
___ Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO

How often do you bathe:
(_)Weekly
(_)Monthly
(_)Not Applicable

Color of teeth:
(_)Yellow
(_)Brownish-Yellow
(_)Brown
(_)Black
(_)N/A

Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man

How far is your home from a paved road?
(_)1 mile
(_)2 miles
(_)don’t know