brother and sister

This actually IS true. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it! Only in South Carolina!! Bitter sweet revenge. It’s about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University.

This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride’s and groom’s families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception.

To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift, just from him. So, taped to the bottom of everyone’s chair was a manila envelope, including those chairs of the wedding party. He said that this was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open their envelopes.

Inside each manila envelope was an 8 X 10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and had hired a private detective to trail them, weeks prior to the wedding. After he stood there and watched the people’s reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said “Fuck you!” He then turned to the bride and said “Fuck you too!,” and then he turned to the dumb-founded crowd and said, “I’m outta here!”

He had the marriage annulled, first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong.

His revenge: Making the bride’s parents pay over $32,000 for 300 guests, the wedding itself and the reception. Plus, letting everyone know exactly what did happen. And best of all, trashing the bride’s and best man’s reputations in front of all of their friends, their entire families, i.e., their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews, etc.

This guy has balls the size of church bells. This is his world; we just live in it.

The blond family was the perfect american family –mom, dad, brother, and little sister…and of course they all had blonde hair and blue eyes!!

One day little sister found a brunette wig and put it on, she went in the bathroom and put on some of mom’s mascara, and put in some brown contacts…

Then she went and found her dad and said. “Daddy, daddy, look I’m a brunette, look dad!!!”

Well, dad didn’t even look up from the tv. and said.. “Go,away don’t bother me now I’m busy!!! Go bother your mother!!!”

So little sister went and found her mom and said, “Look momma I’m a brunette!!!” Her mom didn’t even look up from bleaching her hair and said, “Go away dear, I’m real busy, go talk to your brother!”

She found her brother talking on the phone and said, “Look at me! Look at me!! I’m a brunette, don’t I look good!!” Her brother didn’t even look down and said, “I’m on the phone, go on, don’t bother me now!!!”

Little sister then goes out on the back porch, sits down and puts her hands on her chin and says, “I’ve only been a brunette for 10 minutes and I already hate those damn blondes!!!”

A minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building.

He was somewhat annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick, and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. “Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.”

During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. If any of you can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.”

He was extremely pleased with the response of his congregation, as well as with the substitute organist who, he finally realized, was playing, “The Star Spangled Banner.”

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer.

The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um…no.”

“–or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, “–or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: “–so if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?!?”

The Raiders Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Raiders team for ‘98.
The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback.
He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn’t find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super bowl win.
Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia.
In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly incredible arm.
He threw a hand grenade straight into a 15th story window 200 yards away—ka-boom!
He threw another hand grenade into a group of about 10 soldiers a good 110 yards away— ka-blooey!
A car passes going 90 miles an hour bulls-eye! Right into the barely open window. “I’ve got to get this guy,” Al says to himself. “He has the perfect arm!”
So he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.
Predictably, the young man breaks all the NFL records for completed passes, and the Raiders go on to win the Super bowl.
The young Bosnian is lionized as the Great Hero of Super bowl XXXI, and when Al asks him what he wants,
all the young man wants to do is to call his mother. “Mom,” the young man says into the receiver, “I just won the Super bowl.”
I don’t want to talk to you,” the old woman says. “You deserted us. You’re not my son.” “I don’t think you understand, mother,” the young man pleads. “I just won the greatest sporting event in the world. I’m in the middle of thousands of adoring fans.” “No, let me tell you,” the mother implores. “At this very moment, there are gun shots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and this week your sister was raped in broad daylight….” The old lady pauses, in tears. “…I’ll never forgive you for moving us to Oakland!”