garden of eden

Eve, in the Garden of Eden, called out to the skies, “Oh Lord, I have a problem.”

And the Lord said, Whats the matter Eve?”

“I know you created me and this beautful garden,” said Eve, “but I’m lonely and I’m sick of eating apples.”

“Well, in that case,” replied the Almighty, “I will create a man for you.”

“What’s a man?” asked Eve.

“He’s a flawed creature with aggresive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to listen. But he’s big and fast and muscular. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball and hunting animals — and not bad in the sack.”

“Sounds great!” replied Eve.

“There’s one condition,” added the Lord. “You’ll have to let him believe I made him first.”

In the garden of eden,
As everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve
without any clothes.

In this garden,
were 2 little leaves,
One covered Adam’s and
One covered Eve’s.

As the story goes on
Nevertheless to say,
The wind came along
And blew the leaves away.

At the sight Adam did stare
There was Eves treasure
All covered with hair.

And wonder came, under Eves eyes, as Adam’s thing started to rise.

They found a spot,
that suited them best,
A nice big tree where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider and wider apart,
while thrill after thrill,
came into her heart.

The head of Adam’s thing,
peeked into the hole,
and filled her with passion beyond her control.

Backward and Forward his thing did slide,
And Eve’s treasure was all wet inside.

The joy was good,
she wouldn’t let loose,
until Adam’s thing,
was all out of juice.

Then down through the years,
People did screw,
And now it is time for me and you.

So pull down your pants,
lay in the grass cause im in the mood for a peice of that ass!

Did you know that Adam was a Pollack?

Who else would stand beside a naked woman in the Garden of Eden and eat an apple?

The young Ensign approached the crusty old Chief and asked him about the origin of the commissioned office insignias.

“Well, Ensign, it’s history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you’re valuable, BUT malleable. The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade represents value, but less malleable. When you make Lieutenant, you’re twice as valuable, so we give you two silver bars.”

“As a Captain, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As an Admiral, you’re obviously a star. That answer your question?”

“Yeah, but what about Commanders and Lieutenant Commanders?”

“Now that goes waaaaaaaaay back in history–back to the Garden of Eden, actually. You see, we’ve always covered our pricks with leaves….”

One day in The Garden Of Eden, Eve was playing near the ocean and accidentally fell in. A loud deep voice was heard from above exclaiming, “Damn! Now I’ll never get the smell out!”