Senility Prayer

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God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I’m older….here’s what I’ve discovered:

1. I started out with nothing .. I still have most of it.

2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?

3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.

5. It is easier to getting older than it is wiser.

6. The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.

7. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.

8. Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.

9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause kids.

10. It’s hard to make a come back, when you haven’t been anywhere.

11. If God wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them on my knees.