Southern Sayings…..

SOUTHERN SAYINGS…..
1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”
2. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.”
3. “He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on
the way down.”
4. “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ’saucered and
blowed.’”
5. “She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.”
6. “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.”
7. “My cow died last night so I don’t need your bull.”
8. “Don’t pee down my back and tell me it’s raining.”
9. “He’s as country as cornflakes.”
10. “This is gooder’n grits.”
11. “Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.”
12. “If things get any better, I may have to hire someone
to help me enjoy it.”
13. “Tie my face to the side of a pig and roll me in the
me in the mud.
14. “Hotter than a $2 pistol.”
15. “Enough wringkles to hold an eight day rain.”
16. “I’m so hungry I’m fartin’ cobwebs.”
17. “Shit fire and save the matches.”
18. “Living high off the hog.”
19. “Slow as molasses.”
20. “Grinnin’ like a mule eatin’ briers.”
21. “Lord, I fell like I’ been rode hard and put up wet.”
22. “I feel like I been drug through a knot hole
back’ards and beat over the head with buzzard guts.”
23. “Hotter than a cut-goat in a brier patch.”
24. “Happier than a fat tick on a skinny dog.”
25. “One can short of a six-pack.”
26. “One frame short of a full roll.”
27. “Now we’re shitting in high cotton.”
28. “She’s so ugly she’d knock a buzzard off a shit
wagon.”
29. “As full as a tick.”
30. “I feel worse than a dog that just puked and ate it.”
31. “Feel like I’ been caught between a dog and a fire
hydrant.”
32. “Went to shit and the hogs ate ‘em.”
33. “Happier than a dead pig in shit.”
34. “Dumb as dirt.”
35. “Colder than an old maids bed in March.”
36. “She’s so ugly she’d make a freight train take a dirt
road.”
37. “She’s so ugly she’d knock a dog off a meat truck.”
38. “Finer that frogs’ hair.”
39. “That puts a hitch in my giddy-up, (or get-along.)”
40. “Colder than a well-digger’s butt.”
41. “Slicker than owl shit on a July morning.”
42. “Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking
contest.”
43. “Busier than a one-armed paper-hanger.”
44. “(the rain) sounds like a cow peein’ on a flat rock.”
45. “cuter than a speckled pup.”
46. “cuter than a mess of fried catfish.”
47. “If I was any happier I’d be twins.”
48. “He ain’t got sense God promised a billy goat on a good day.”

This joke is filed under Funny Stories.