Talking Clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
“What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked.
“That is my talking clock,” the man replied.
“How does it work?” the friend asked.
“Watch,” the man said. Then he proceeded to give the gong an ear-shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It’s two AM in the MORNING!!!”
“See? Works every time.”