A joke told about my father, Officer Harold Padgett, who was a traffic cop at the time……

George had just gotten a brand new ten speed bike when he got the notion in his head that he was going to ride his new bike across the state. George hopped on his bike and peddled away toward this new adventure.

Twenty miles down the road, George is huffing and puffing all the peddling, so he pulls into a gas to take a break. While standing in front of the gas station, a gentleman in a Cadillac pulls up to the pumps and sees George drippng with sweat. The gentleman asks George why he is sweating. The gentleman and George have the following conversation:

George: “Well, I got this new bike and I decided to ride it across the state.”

Gentleman: “You know you have several hundred miles to cross the state. That’s an awful long ride.”

George: “I know but it’s something I’ve always wanted to do.”

Gentleman: “You know, I could help you out and give you a ride.”

George: “I appreciate it, but it would defeat the purpose if I rode with you.”

Gentleman: “I have some rope in the trunk, I could pull you behind me.”

George: “That sounds great but what if you go too fast, how would I tell you to slow down.”

Gentleman: “Well, I have this old horn in the trunk. You can tie it to your handlebars and squeeze it if I start going too fast.”

George agrees to let the gentleman tie a rope to his bike and attach the old horn to his handlebars. George is excited about the idea of accomplishing his task of riding across state without all the peddling. After the gentleman fills his tank with gas, he pulls off with George in tow.

About a hundred miles down the road, the gentleman stops his Cadillac for a red signal light. Another Cadillac pulls up beside him and starts revving the engine. The gentleman, excited by the challenge, revs his engine to acknowledge the challenge. When the light turns green both Cadillacs race off leaving a trail of smoke from their tires behind them. When they hit the interstate, the speedometer on the Cadillac reaches 90, 95, 100, 105, and finally the needle bounces off 115 miles per hour.

Officer Padgett is in his squad car on the side of the highway when the two speeding Cadillacs wiz by him. Officer Padgett radios ahead to headquaters to get a patrol to stop them since they were going too fast for him to catch them.

These are his exact words as he radios into headquarters:

Padgett: “Adam 219 to headquaters”

Headquarters: “Adam 219 go ahead.”

Padgett: “Headquarters, I need a patrol car to stop two cadillacs racing up I-85 at appproximately 115 miles per hour.”

Headquarters: “Ten Four”

Padgett: “Headquarters, you ain’t going to believe this, but…..”

Headquarters: “Go ahead”

Padgett: “There’s a guy on a bicycle honking a horn, trying to pass the Cadillacs…….”

This joke is filed under Funny Stories.

There was a preist and a few nuns riding their bikes to the mass held some miles down the road. They go over a rather small bump and the nuns start giggling.

The priest thought nothing of it. They go over a bump just a little bigger than the last; they start laughing a bit harder. This time the preist has a disappointed look on his face but still says nothing.

They go over a bump that is much bigger. The nuns crack up and the priest finally shouts out, “If you ladies don’t shut up I’m going to have to put the seats back on your bicycles!”

(sorry if I have offended anyone with this joke)

This joke is filed under Religious.